University students who put a lot of pressure on themselves to be the best at everything, known as the ‘superhero ideal’, have been hit especially hard by the pandemic. Recent research has shown that by developing authentic and healthy relationships, young people can fight the depressive symptoms associated with this superhero ideal.
The ‘superhero ideal’ was based off the ‘superwoman ideal‘, which is a construct has its origins in the 1960s feminist movement where women could ‘do it all and have it all’. In an article published in Acta Psychologica, Sally A. Theran, associate professor of psychology at Wellesley College and co-author Halina Dour, explain that internalising the superhero ideal is directly related to an increase in depressive symptoms.
“No matter how much we try to deemphasise achievement and success to college-age students and encourage them to work on their own intrinsic motivation and well-being, kids are internalising this message that they feel pressure to achieve,” said A/Prof Theran, who finds in her day-to-day interactions, in addition to her research, that many of her students feel they “have to be superheroes.”
One way for students to combat the effects of the superhero ideal is to cultivate authentic relationships with peers, parents, and educators, according to the study authors They define an authentic relationship as one in which a person feels able to be honest about who they are with someone else. That does not necessarily mean acting the same way around everyone they know – a student will act differently around a teacher than a friend – but rather that in each of those interactions the person feels they are being true to themselves.
To gauge the authenticity of a relationship, A/Prof Theran said, students can ask themselves, “Does this person make me feel good? Do I feel like I can be myself around this person?”
A/Prof Theran and her team found that students who had authentic relationships were able to partially mediate the relationship between the superhero ideal and depressive symptoms. Specifically, the link between superhero ideal and depressive symptoms is in part due to the lack of authenticity in these adolescents’ relationships. The more the superhero ideal was internalised, the less the authenticity there was with parents and peers. Lower levels of authenticity with parents and peers were associated with more depressive symptoms. Thus, authenticity in relationships is part of the mechanism for explaining the significant relation between the superhero ideal and depressive symptoms.
“In college you are more able to have a shift of self,” A/Prof Theran said. “‘Is this who I am? Is this what I want?’ And you may end up having an identity crisis, but that’s really healthy, in order to figure out who you are.”
A/Prof Theran particularly sees this in students who have recently started at university. They are often trying to work out what they want to put effort into and care about, rather than going along with what parents and teachers wanted. The way out of such a crisis, according to A/Prof Theran, is for them to find people, like peers, teachers, parents, around whom they can be their true selves. Being honest about their achievements, failures, and even confusion is one way to go about building such authentic relationships.
A/Prof Theran uses this skill in her own classroom, telling her students when she has a paper rejected, for example, or doesn’t get a grant for which she had applied. “If you are not robotic with your students, then they will genuinely be themselves, too,” she said, “and then hopefully they are less likely to feel such superhero pressure in class and in other areas.”
A/Prof Theran said that awareness of both the external and internal pressures on students to achieve is especially important now as adolescents consume social media even more in the pandemic, often unfavourably comparing their ‘worst’ selves with someone else’s filtered online self. Parents can help, A/Prof Theran said, by pointing out the use of filters and angles, and reminding them that someone is posting one curated minute of their day, not their whole self. “Encourage your teen to consider, how authentic are people being in their online presentation? And when people espouse authenticity online, it does not mean that they are actually being their true self,” she said. “The very nature of social media encourages internalisation of the superhero ideal while discouraging authenticity, but bolstering authenticity and critical thinking skills can help combat the negative repercussions of the superhero ideal.”
A/Prof Theran has studied authenticity in relationships for 20 years. She recently co-authored a paper on the ways authentic and empowered friendships among female university students can act as a buffer between childhood emotional and physical abuse and subsequent traumatic symptoms while in university. Another paper explored the roles of authentic relationships in adolescents’ prosocial experiences, which are positive aspects of being around peers. In adolescents with low levels of secure attachments, prosocial experiences increased as their level of authenticity with peers increased, A/Prof Theran found.
“The pandemic really made clear how much relationships mean to us,” said A/Prof Theran. “We feel empowered by our friendships. Reaching out and connecting with others can improve our well-being so much.”
Source: Wellesley College
